THE EMPRESS

First Impressions:

You enter the restaurant via a bizarre sliding door that resembles a prop from Blake's 7!

The plates look like ninja throwing stars!

Starters :

Nice and spicy sides come with the crisp Papadums. The Bhajis are average.

Mains:

After my first visit I returned about a year later.

The starters were similar but the mains were very contrasting on my second experience.

First visit: Chicken Rezala and lamb Bhuna, both great.

Second visit: Chewey fatty lamb and a very average North Indian garlic chile chicken.

Hot towels and mints were offered on both occasions.

The Verdict:

Good if you are into time travel,  but average if the last visit was anything to go by.

Likely to dine here:

Paul Darrow and Saxon 

 

Directions:

The Empress
141 Leman St, London E1 8EY

Nearest Tube: Aldgate East

 


 

DEPA TANDOORI

First Impressions :

It's a men only restaurant or so it seems.

There is a party of comedy northern characters for our entertainment!

Starters :

The Papadums and pickle tray is below par.

The Bhajis arrive, announced by the orchestral hit from Stravinsky's Firebird suite! They must be great....they are not!

Mains: 

The Chicken Raga comes with a special watery sauce for that authentic taste of the river Thames!

The Lamb is straight out of Hammers, the horror of Frankenstein.. A comedy Horror, Kate O'Mara wouldn't be proud!  It's a mutation of fat soaked in a sauce that would only be suitable for embalming fluid! Pashwari lamb??!!

My stomach felt a bit uneasy after all this stress! A creepy mirrored toilet cubicle awaited with only a grubby hand towel to dry my hands!

The waiter's final word was that he wasn't a fan of Keyboard player Rick Wakeman, but he loved classical period music such as the Beatles!

The Verdict

Only recommended for fans of Frankenstein movies!

Likely to dine here :

Ant and Dec and the Halle orchestra.

 

Directions:

Depa Tandoori

4 Leigh St, London WC1H 9EW

Nearest Tube:

Russel square / Kings Cross St Pancras

 

 

MASSALA - BRICK LANE

First impressions :

I have eaten so many bad Curries on Brick Lane that I'm always reluctant to eat there again!

As you walk past the many Restaurants, you are harassed by waiters acting like pimps, trying to get you to try their delicacies!

After about 5 mins of this, we were pursuaded by the Indian version of Hale and Pace to eat at the Masala. This was mainly because of the free beer they had on offer! I recall that the service charge made up for the so called free drinks!!!

Once seated, you can enjoy the Cheese Cake style menu with far too much choice for them to be all good...

 

Starters:

The Yes man waiter brings some very average Papadums and Bhajis...

 

Mains:

I was really surprised here as both the dishes were good. Tender and good flavors.

Chile Chicken and Lamb Bhuna both winners.

 

The Verdict:

Good for Brick Lane.

The Eterna hand dryer was decent as were the after death mints!

 

Likely to dine here:

President 'tricky dicky' Nixon

 


Directions:

Massala
88 Brick Lane, London E1 6RL

Nearest Tube /Overground:
Aldgate East/ Shoreditch High Street

 

 

RAJASTHAN

First Impressions:

Perfect for the soulless City Banker! That glorious airport departure lounge set up. Very prompt service but no smiles!
Great for lovers of tasteless Korg M1 Muzak!

Starters:

By this point, the waiters had started to smile a bit after I played Dexter Gordon's rendition of Smile Loudly on my phone!
Very average Papadums and Bhajis.

Mains:

The Lamb chop Masala here is very bland and even comes with a Morrisons signature sauce!
The Chicken Razzala however is excellent.
The dishes are accompanied by the world's smallest Naan!
After their cold start, the waiters made up for it at the end offering shots of Brandy, chocolate and hot towels!

The Verdict:

Good and bad.
Beware the Blow Motion hand dryer as it takes your skin off!

Likely to dine here:

Terry Thomas and Wogan 

 

Directions:

Rajasthan
49 Monument St, London EC3R 8BU

Nearest Tube:
Monument/Bank