First impressions
MrX: This ain't gonna be good. That's what I'm thinking after I'm seated by the waiter who's master scheme is to seat everyone like sardines! A quick trip to the toilet proves my theory as I have to squeeze through narrow passages and step sideways into the loo!
This restaurant isn't intended for any members of the Chicago Bears Defence!
UM: This Curry-house is reassuringly tatty. All the chintz, all the Eastern regalia of a bygone era that tease the taste buds. Sentiment aside, it's maybe just a clue that the pickle-tray hasn't been changed since a bygone era.
Starters
MrX: Crispy Papadums however the Pickle tray has been left out since May 1996! The lime pickle resembles my dead gran's teeth!
The Onion bhajis arrive on a stark surgeons tray and look like a pair of elephants testicles. They taste like Turkey stuffing and are not cooked in the middle.-107 points for this!
UM: One nibble was all this Bhaji was worthy of, a depressed clump of stodginess that complimented the retirement-home ambiance of the Grand India.
Mains
MrX: At this point in the evenings entertainment a gentleman enters the restaurant and asks to be seated at the other end of the room away from the drunken sardines. The waiter rudely denies him and he is forced to leave.-756 points for this!
Lamb Rogan Josh and Balti Chicken Dansek arrive. Both look and taste like they were prepared a week before. Both dishes taste like a vat of salt has been poured into them. I am not impressed. The Naan bread is also extremely stodgy.
UM: Apart from the fall-out Chicken that yielded like autumn bark, I suspect the mains had a pleasant flavor but I couldn't tell over the excessive taste of salt.
The Verdict
MrX: Extremely poor and overpriced. You pay for the salt I guess!!!
UM: Without intending to rub any in, mention must be made of the wounded waiter. A sensitive character, who entertained us by driving a customer away over a seating dispute and then having a hissy-fit about how tough it is to run a restaurant. Soggy, salty, hysterics. Nil pwa.
Likely to dine here
Matt Goss and Sir Simon Rattle, on a dinner date to discuss their new movie, "Finger and Thumb".
