STIRPUR

First Impressions:

Underdog and I have to seat ourselves as the waiter is more interested in texting his agent to get a better gig!

Starters:

As we wait for our Papadums and Bhajis, we receive angry looks for one of the other diners who resembles one of the Mitchell brothers; he looks like he wants to punch us to impress his girlfriend!
The Papadums and pickle tray are ok; kind of like Duke Ellington without Billy Strayhorn though.
The Bhajis suck!! 1 out of 15!

Mains:

An overcooked Chicken Tika arrives with a very average sauce...
We ordered a beef dish here for a change. Bad idea; chewey with a bland sauce....

The Verdict:

Underdog really hated this place. I thought it was bad but far from the worst I have ever had.
The waiter even admitted that the food was average!

Likely to dine here:

The Krankies.

 

Directions:

Stirpur
25 Great Tower St, London EC3R 5AQ

Nearest Tube : Tower Hill

KHANAGE

The legend of the Wimbledon 8.

This was a drinking game often played by the great actor Oliver Reed.

The game involves drinking 1 pint within 15 minutes then running to the next pub. There are 8 pubs all around the Wimbledon area.

One sunny August afternoon, a couple of friends and myself decided to try this... After several hours of drinking we decided to soak up the alcohol with some of the local delicacies...

First Impressions :

Open plan restaurant with easy access to escape if you want to do a runner!

I'm not a fan of the Harrison Birtwistle menu that belongs on the south bank for 20th century classical season!

A selection of bad English chart music is playing loudly throughout the room...

Starters :

We are treated to stale Papadums and the dreaded flat Bhajis. The sauces on the pickle tray taste more like Mexican cuisine....

Mains:

The Lamb Pasanda is tender, but bland.

You need a microscope to see the Chicken Tandoori Tika... This is also accompanied by a separate bland sauce.

To make up for this, a truck load of rice arrives! The naan is merely ok..

The Verdict :

Not a great restaurant. Below par food.

Likely to dine here :

Jacob Collier and Simon Cowell. 

 

Directions:

Khanage

108 The Broadway, London SW19 1RH

Nearest Tube:  Wimbledon

SHAD INDIAN

First Impressions:

They distract you straight off with an aquarium containing Babel Fish; I guess for the translation of the waiters!

The toilets here resemble a trip to a torture dungeon from Saw, and I was in the female toilets by accident!

It's ladies night as I'm eyed up by a table of senior citizens as I'm seated!

Starters:

The Papadums are so big, they don't fit in the basket!

Onion Bhajis are very average, about a 3.71 out of 7.

Mains:

We had to explain what pudding bread was to the waiter; he had never heard a Pashwari Naan called that!

We ordered Khahla Lamb Bhuna and Chicken Rezala. Both were excellent and the portions are huge here as well!

The food was slightly salty,... but after 15 pints this didn't matter!

The Verdict:

Good food, scary toilets!

Likely to dine here :

Captain Sensible and Rachmaninov

 

Directions:

Shad Indian

96 Tooley St, London SE1 2TH

Nearest Tube: London Bridge

RAGAM

First Impressions :

Ninja Warrior doormen are here to greet you! Maybe they get a lot of trouble from rival Indian restaurants! 

The lighting of the room is far too bright, but I imagine they want to show off their colourful pink napkins! The seats resemble a Caribbean juicy Chicken Shack...

Starters:

Before ordering, the waiter lets us know that he much prefers later day Michael Jackson to Off the Wall...

The Onion Bhajis are great but are served naked. Too dry, they need a slice of lemon.

Mains :

This restaurant has a large selection of fishy requisites! We stick to our usual chicken and lamb dish; Green Mutton Lamb and Kazhi Varutha Chicken. Both dishes are excellent but contain too much salt.

On my trip to the restroom I discover that the Lavante handryer is good and un-PC!

The Verdict :

You can expect some great flavors here, as long as you stay clear of the bland malabar coconut dishes.

No hot towels or mints were offered. The world has gone mad!!!

Likely to dine here:

Chris Squie and John Entwistle

 

Directions :

Ragam 

57 Cleveland St, London W1T 4JN

Nearest Tube: Goodge Street